~Video~
This video can relate to those who been broken and used...how to move through and keep moving forward...that is the road we need to walk on...oh and how tough that road is...but were in a trap...for to not walk on... is tough as well...so in the depths of your brokenness...find the little strength you have left and take a step ~ at a time...step by step... to find who you are...then hold on to what God has for you...for each step needs all you have~to keep moving forward!
(At top~Click the word video..... to view the video)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
~What's This Life For~
Between this camera and Creed is.... Me :)
This song meant alot to me last year.....so needed... so freeing from being religious... and so focus on what is real.
~footnote~
black font......"Lyrics to the song~ What's This Life For" by "Creed"
The blue font...... are my words....
I say "Hurray for a child That makes it through"... as a child going through painful years and years..."If there's any way Because the answer lies in you "...trying to find the answer to survive took me to many misconcepted solutions...it was when I found the solution in You that I was able to walk it out.
"They're laid to rest Before they know just what to do" If one of my misconceptions would of succeeded...I would of been laid to rest. ...and obvious I didn't know what to do just knew something had to change!
"Their souls are lost Because they could never find ~~What's this life for " ...my soul was lost drifting to find the answers to ... What's this life for...
"I see your soul, it's kind of gray I see your heart, you look away"...you look away for you have a gray heart for you have the answers in you mind, but you do not live out the answer so as you see my heart you do not have the love it takes to reach out....so you look away...
"You see my wrist, I know your pain" hurt myself...hurt myself again...I understand the pain!
"I know your purpose on your plane Don't say a last prayer" ...oh no!! not saying a prayer anymore...for I am done with my hope in this thing people call God.... I no longer want to put trust in Him for if I trust in the Evil One...life might just lighten up a bit!!! I turned to all this because... "Because you could never find What's this life for "
"But they ain't here anymore Don't have to settle the score Cause we all live Under the reign of one king" No I am not here anymore....I don't have to settle the score...because I get it!...we all live under the reign of the One King...Jesus Christ...who settled the score and gives me the solutions and understanding bit by bit to the purpose of me on this plane...So now I say a last prayer...for I don't have to settle no God Damn score...because my trust is in the fact I live under the Reign of One King..... which is a much alive walk for me.....with depths of realness! in this I grow more and more...........
After the song...I think I can hear my scream :)... I did lose my voice............anyway...live on :)
This song meant alot to me last year.....so needed... so freeing from being religious... and so focus on what is real.
~footnote~
black font......"Lyrics to the song~ What's This Life For" by "Creed"
The blue font...... are my words....
I say "Hurray for a child That makes it through"... as a child going through painful years and years..."If there's any way Because the answer lies in you "...trying to find the answer to survive took me to many misconcepted solutions...it was when I found the solution in You that I was able to walk it out.
"They're laid to rest Before they know just what to do" If one of my misconceptions would of succeeded...I would of been laid to rest. ...and obvious I didn't know what to do just knew something had to change!
"Their souls are lost Because they could never find ~~What's this life for " ...my soul was lost drifting to find the answers to ... What's this life for...
"I see your soul, it's kind of gray I see your heart, you look away"...you look away for you have a gray heart for you have the answers in you mind, but you do not live out the answer so as you see my heart you do not have the love it takes to reach out....so you look away...
"You see my wrist, I know your pain" hurt myself...hurt myself again...I understand the pain!
"I know your purpose on your plane Don't say a last prayer" ...oh no!! not saying a prayer anymore...for I am done with my hope in this thing people call God.... I no longer want to put trust in Him for if I trust in the Evil One...life might just lighten up a bit!!! I turned to all this because... "Because you could never find What's this life for "
"But they ain't here anymore Don't have to settle the score Cause we all live Under the reign of one king" No I am not here anymore....I don't have to settle the score...because I get it!...we all live under the reign of the One King...Jesus Christ...who settled the score and gives me the solutions and understanding bit by bit to the purpose of me on this plane...So now I say a last prayer...for I don't have to settle no God Damn score...because my trust is in the fact I live under the Reign of One King..... which is a much alive walk for me.....with depths of realness! in this I grow more and more...........
After the song...I think I can hear my scream :)... I did lose my voice............anyway...live on :)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
~how I do what I do...?~
I find myself going deep here...
~first of all you see and hear what I do ~ you fail to see and hear what I fail to do.
I try to keep my focus simple which from time to time needs adjustment... Adjustment takes me to re-evaluate what is priority for me... I pray... search my heart... take a look at my family... Then as I start to find vision again... I fight... for there are some priorities that I could easily say no with many valuable excuses...
( example of this ~~is vacuuming the house everyday... is it necessary... not completely... does it really matter... not really... how important can it be?... come on it's dirt how important can it be?... I even have others giving me freedom to excuse vacuuming every day...but I've gone there ~ I tried that ... for me it doesn't work... something about the simple task of vacuuming everyday works for me... the house stays in order.... children are more motivated knowing the vacuum cleaner is on its way.,, ~family rule~ When I am vacuuming if I need to pick up something.....I may throw it away... ....and it has to be better for the children's allergies... I feel better through the day as I walk through the cleaner house.... and my sexy husband loves a clean home.....keeping him sexy...:) When I do not vacuum things start getting out of order... I feel irritated because of disorder... things cannot be found. Just a less satisfaction. So for me if chasing a vacuum through the home everyday brings so much good....It's worth the satisfaction.... Does it make sense~no~but it works for me...
At this moment I am in the mind battle of cooking breakfast every morning. Problem... I have to hustle through the morning minutes to have it ready by 7:00am so everyone can gather round the table sit down and enjoy... Is it worth it...oh yes... children are more motivated to be awake and dressed, when they see the cooked meal ready for them... then to pour their own cereal... but I fight laziness. After Ronnie and my tea time I sit there and watch the news another 10 mins. why....well not because the news is a great need... no just giving into the fact I don't want to move yet.... But the flip side is the satisfaction of my efforts.... so the battle lives on....and someday I will kick my butt and get back on to the importance of seeing the breakfast table presented and ready.
As I strive to find my visions of importance. I then~ fight to see my visions become reality. So I fight against the excuses and fight for the solutions... Will you see me washing floors at 10:00pm at night when Ronnie goes out on an on call...maybe... will you see messes in my house.... at times.... will you see me doing things on my priority list...yes, but you will also see me not getting to some of the priorities as well....The reason you see me doing some of the homemade stuff is for one~ I love natural stuff...also I do not want to let go of my creative side... I may have a lot on my plate, but I fight to not lose myself!!
It's a battle and I am a fighter... I often imagine after I die being in heaven and seeing my whole life... It is then that I can stand back and see what is important and what is not so important... It is from these face to face within myself ~ that keeps my motivation... my visions... my battle.... I will NOT be without regrets...but...I will NOT be without a fight! So what you see is not without the struggles.
Yes and I have many hands that help... Sierra is totally self motivated to bake cookies this Christmas season... do I want to bake all the cookies...?....Oh Yes I Do !... but the reality is I am busy and her motivation is the help I am in need of to be able to do all I want to accomplish... so I rest in her motivation... Ronald also helps with his interest in music... there are times I feel weary and lack motivation for it all... he brings me a song which brings me to smile and reminds me of the good of it all. His light heartiness reminds me to not focus on the heaviness... so needed for me :) Also my husband brings balance to my unbalanced mind at times... I will communicate so much with him... so as he hears me... then he has balance, encouragement, and cheery disposition... reminds me what life is about... Yes, life is hard ~ he agrees... but it is also wonderful... just to remember to not let the difficult stuff over take the beauty... :)
..................So this is a piece of my life I share with you...
"...fight the good fight.... ....Keep pressing on..." ~Creed
...funny as I read over this...with mp3 playing to help me stay focus to tune out all that is going on in my home...so I can tune in to focus....... ....so as I started saying funny as I read over this and get to the end of encouraging all to fight the good fight...Scott is singing fight the good fight. :)
~first of all you see and hear what I do ~ you fail to see and hear what I fail to do.
I try to keep my focus simple which from time to time needs adjustment... Adjustment takes me to re-evaluate what is priority for me... I pray... search my heart... take a look at my family... Then as I start to find vision again... I fight... for there are some priorities that I could easily say no with many valuable excuses...
( example of this ~~is vacuuming the house everyday... is it necessary... not completely... does it really matter... not really... how important can it be?... come on it's dirt how important can it be?... I even have others giving me freedom to excuse vacuuming every day...but I've gone there ~ I tried that ... for me it doesn't work... something about the simple task of vacuuming everyday works for me... the house stays in order.... children are more motivated knowing the vacuum cleaner is on its way.,, ~family rule~ When I am vacuuming if I need to pick up something.....I may throw it away... ....and it has to be better for the children's allergies... I feel better through the day as I walk through the cleaner house.... and my sexy husband loves a clean home.....keeping him sexy...:) When I do not vacuum things start getting out of order... I feel irritated because of disorder... things cannot be found. Just a less satisfaction. So for me if chasing a vacuum through the home everyday brings so much good....It's worth the satisfaction.... Does it make sense~no~but it works for me...
At this moment I am in the mind battle of cooking breakfast every morning. Problem... I have to hustle through the morning minutes to have it ready by 7:00am so everyone can gather round the table sit down and enjoy... Is it worth it...oh yes... children are more motivated to be awake and dressed, when they see the cooked meal ready for them... then to pour their own cereal... but I fight laziness. After Ronnie and my tea time I sit there and watch the news another 10 mins. why....well not because the news is a great need... no just giving into the fact I don't want to move yet.... But the flip side is the satisfaction of my efforts.... so the battle lives on....and someday I will kick my butt and get back on to the importance of seeing the breakfast table presented and ready.
As I strive to find my visions of importance. I then~ fight to see my visions become reality. So I fight against the excuses and fight for the solutions... Will you see me washing floors at 10:00pm at night when Ronnie goes out on an on call...maybe... will you see messes in my house.... at times.... will you see me doing things on my priority list...yes, but you will also see me not getting to some of the priorities as well....The reason you see me doing some of the homemade stuff is for one~ I love natural stuff...also I do not want to let go of my creative side... I may have a lot on my plate, but I fight to not lose myself!!
It's a battle and I am a fighter... I often imagine after I die being in heaven and seeing my whole life... It is then that I can stand back and see what is important and what is not so important... It is from these face to face within myself ~ that keeps my motivation... my visions... my battle.... I will NOT be without regrets...but...I will NOT be without a fight! So what you see is not without the struggles.
Yes and I have many hands that help... Sierra is totally self motivated to bake cookies this Christmas season... do I want to bake all the cookies...?....Oh Yes I Do !... but the reality is I am busy and her motivation is the help I am in need of to be able to do all I want to accomplish... so I rest in her motivation... Ronald also helps with his interest in music... there are times I feel weary and lack motivation for it all... he brings me a song which brings me to smile and reminds me of the good of it all. His light heartiness reminds me to not focus on the heaviness... so needed for me :) Also my husband brings balance to my unbalanced mind at times... I will communicate so much with him... so as he hears me... then he has balance, encouragement, and cheery disposition... reminds me what life is about... Yes, life is hard ~ he agrees... but it is also wonderful... just to remember to not let the difficult stuff over take the beauty... :)
..................So this is a piece of my life I share with you...
"...fight the good fight.... ....Keep pressing on..." ~Creed
...funny as I read over this...with mp3 playing to help me stay focus to tune out all that is going on in my home...so I can tune in to focus....... ....so as I started saying funny as I read over this and get to the end of encouraging all to fight the good fight...Scott is singing fight the good fight. :)
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