~how I do what I do...?~

I find myself going deep here...
~first of all you see and hear what I do ~ you fail to see and hear what I fail to do.
I try to keep my focus simple which from time to time needs adjustment... Adjustment takes me to re-evaluate what is priority for me... I pray... search my heart... take a look at my family... Then as I start to find vision again... I fight... for there are some priorities that I could easily say no with many valuable excuses...
( example of this ~~is vacuuming the house everyday... is it necessary... not completely... does it really matter... not really... how important can it be?... come on it's dirt how important can it be?... I even have others giving me freedom to excuse vacuuming every day...but I've gone there ~ I tried that ... for me it doesn't work... something about the simple task of vacuuming everyday works for me... the house stays in order.... children are more motivated knowing the vacuum cleaner is on its way.,, ~family rule~ When I am vacuuming if I need to pick up something.....I may throw it away... ....and it has to be better for the children's allergies... I feel better through the day as I walk through the cleaner house.... and my sexy husband loves a clean home.....keeping him sexy...:) When I do not vacuum things start getting out of order... I feel irritated because of disorder... things cannot be found. Just a less satisfaction. So for me if chasing a vacuum through the home everyday brings so much good....It's worth the satisfaction.... Does it make sense~no~but it works for me...
At this moment I am in the mind battle of cooking breakfast every morning. Problem... I have to hustle through the morning minutes to have it ready by 7:00am so everyone can gather round the table sit down and enjoy... Is it worth it...oh yes... children are more motivated to be awake and dressed, when they see the cooked meal ready for them... then to pour their own cereal... but I fight laziness. After Ronnie and my tea time I sit there and watch the news another 10 mins. why....well not because the news is a great need... no just giving into the fact I don't want to move yet.... But the flip side is the satisfaction of my efforts.... so the battle lives on....and someday I will kick my butt and get back on to the importance of seeing the breakfast table presented and ready.
As I strive to find my visions of importance. I then~ fight to see my visions become reality. So I fight against the excuses and fight for the solutions... Will you see me washing floors at 10:00pm at night when Ronnie goes out on an on call...maybe... will you see messes in my house.... at times.... will you see me doing things on my priority list...yes, but you will also see me not getting to some of the priorities as well....The reason you see me doing some of the homemade stuff is for one~ I love natural stuff...also I do not want to let go of my creative side... I may have a lot on my plate, but I fight to not lose myself!!
It's a battle and I am a fighter... I often imagine after I die being in heaven and seeing my whole life... It is then that I can stand back and see what is important and what is not so important... It is from these face to face within myself ~ that keeps my motivation... my visions... my battle.... I will NOT be without regrets...but...I will NOT be without a fight! So what you see is not without the struggles.
Yes and I have many hands that help... Sierra is totally self motivated to bake cookies this Christmas season... do I want to bake all the cookies...?....Oh Yes I Do !... but the reality is I am busy and her motivation is the help I am in need of to be able to do all I want to accomplish... so I rest in her motivation... Ronald also helps with his interest in music... there are times I feel weary and lack motivation for it all... he brings me a song which brings me to smile and reminds me of the good of it all. His light heartiness reminds me to not focus on the heaviness... so needed for me :) Also my husband brings balance to my unbalanced mind at times... I will communicate so much with him... so as he hears me... then he has balance, encouragement, and cheery disposition... reminds me what life is about... Yes, life is hard ~ he agrees... but it is also wonderful... just to remember to not let the difficult stuff over take the beauty... :)
..................So this is a piece of my life I share with you...
"...fight the good fight.... ....Keep pressing on..." ~Creed
...funny as I read over this...with mp3 playing to help me stay focus to tune out all that is going on in my home...so I can tune in to focus....... ....so as I started saying funny as I read over this and get to the end of encouraging all to fight the good fight...Scott is singing fight the good fight. :)